FORMULA FOR SUCCESS
Once I was addressing an audience of about a thousand people. Before I began my talk I offered them a bar of chocolate and invited all those who wanted it to come on stage. But I was astonished to see only about 500 hands go up. Out of them only 3 people started moving towards me. The first person had already reached the steps of the stage. Seeing this, the second person gave up but the third person continued to run. This proved that though less than 50% were inspired only about 1% got motivated and less than that optimistic.
Isn't it surprising? As children we are born with the power to be decisive. We are gifted with inspiration and motivation. As adults these traits should be more developed and intense but on the contrary, they all reduce! Sadly, today most people are part of a rat race and overtime they become bigger and bigger rats in their pursuit of bigger homes, cars, wealth and popularity. God created all of us to be happy and successful. In fact he has planted all these traits required for happy and successful life in all of us. Take the example of a seed. Do you know that the entire tree is planned in it! Probably, the comparisons, competitions and our conditioning while growing up are responsible for taking us towards hatred and negativity in life.
We all know that when man didn’t use his tail, he lost it. Similarly a road that is not walked upon grows grass. Therefore we must use the package of traits that we are gifted with or else we may lose them. We need to identify the seed in us and start watering it.
People today spend a lot of their time in achieving all that is outside if them. Luxurious homes, expensive cars, branded clothes etc to flaunt to the world that is outside of them, yet, they do not have time to nourish and nurture their true values. People are running after valuables which even when in plenty cannot bring happiness. Our values are our true valuables. If we don’t use our values we may begin to lose them. Because USELESS – IF USED LESS!
The Process Of Decision Making
At one time or another, we have all had that niggling feeling that something needs to be done, but are then unsure how to do it. You know you have to act, but how? To answer this, we need to consider the process of decision making humans’ use, which tend to fall in to two distinct categories. On the one hand, there is problem based decision making, and on the other we have pre-emptive decision making. The former is a reactive process, while the latter is largely proactive.
Reactive decision making happens in that call for snap judgements. Typically, a reactive decision requires the individual to use their instinct to assert themselves on a situation, and the process of decision making must be quick. Although reactive decision making is not an exact science it is, however, possible to develop a state of mind that is calm, rational, self assured, in possession of the key characteristics that lead to better judgement calls. Remember, very few well made decisions are made by someone who is angry, distracted or flustered.
Proactive or pre-emptive decision making involves making plans and predictions to avert a potential disaster or to increase the likelihood of a potential success. The process of decision making tends to be longer and more thought out. Individuals who excel at this form of decision making possess a keen eye for detail, a logical mind, excellent reasoning ability and the drive and dedication to see the plan through to the end.
Which type of decision maker are you? Do you prefer to plan for all eventualities or to think on your feet? If you have answered a definite yes to either one of these questions, I have some news for you: relying solely on just one form of decision making is a recipe for disaster. If you rely too much on quick decisions, you fail to plan, can be rash and act in the heat of the moment when you are not thinking as clearly as you could be. Likewise, a reliance on planning the process of decision making can lead to panic setting in when events conspire against you or something unexpected happens. We need; therefore, to find a happy medium between excellent planning ability and being comfortable with adapting to events and random situations as they occur.
Through developing high self confidence, you can plan well and take longer terms decisions in your stride, considering the outcomes and assessing the best approach. You can also rely on your own instinct and judgement to make good decisions quickly and confidently, even in the heat of the moment. The process of decision making requires a cool head and good self confidence will help you to remain calm, whatever the situation, which will ultimately lead to better decisions.
How To Apologize Effectively: 5 Simple Tips To Get Your Apology Accepted
It's important for everyone to learn how to apologize effectively. After all, what good is an apology if it doesn't work, right? You might think that a simple "I'm sorry" will take care of everything but that's not exactly true. There are some situations in which you need to apologize properly.
Read on to learn how to apologize effectively.
Tip # 1: Apologize sincerely and wholeheartedly.
Apologizing through gritted teeth or mumbling a half-hearted sorry will get you nowhere. In fact, it might get you into even bigger trouble than before. If you really want to apologize, you must do it with humility and sincerity. Accept the fact that you were in the wrong.
Tip # 2: Don't apologize over and over again.
Contrary to what you might think, apologizing over and over again isn't going to help you get back in the person's good graces, especially if we're talking about someone who's your boss.
Apologies are not supposed to go on forever. How else do you expect your boss to move on if you keep reminding him or her about what you did?
Tip # 3: Don't spend too much time on explanations.
If you want to learn how to apologize effectively, you can't spend more than half of your time talking about why you did it and how you did it.
A bit of an explanation might help on some occasions, but don't ramble on and on about it because it wouldn't seem like you're apologizing for anything anymore. A lot of people tend to make this mistake and the apology loses its sincerity.
Tip # 4: Don't wait too long to apologize.
One proven tip on how to apologize effectively is to do it as soon as you realize your mistake. Some people put off giving an apology because they think it will save them from the full blast of the offended person's wrath.
However, that is just being disrespectful and cowardly. If you can't approach a person physically at once, send him or her a message first. But make sure you apologize in person as well.
Tip # 5: Don't expect anything.
You can't expect that person to forgive you right off the bat, especially if you committed a really grave offense. If you're going to apologize, you have to be prepared for the worst. The conversation isn't going to be the most comfortable one either, so prepare yourself for anything.
Learning how to apologize effectively is very important. It shows people the kind of person you are. Everyone has his or her own tactics, but sincerity is always part of the equation.
Employee Motivation – The 8 Basics
Building a team of motivated people in your business is vital to get the very best results, but so many managers focus on the ‘ra-ra-ra’, rather than the important things – the things that make people feel comfortable in their working environment. Here are eight that you might want to have a think about:
1. The Weather
Is it too hot, or too cold. Your people need an environment which is, like Goldilocks said, ‘Just right’. So is the office too stuffy in summer? Or too icy in winter? Is it draughty? Do people get wet when accepting deliveries, because the outside roof leaks? Literally make sure that external factors are as they wish.
2. The Breaks
Sometimes working in a day-to-day job can get boring and exhausting. So people need to know when their breaks are and that they wil be able to take them – it’s not that complicated. Yet often, they just aren’t able to have this basic courtesy in place. Planning and caring for your people’s needs is vital. It’s what you would want for yourself, isn’t it?
And vacations/holidays are important too – some would say it’s the most important thing on the working year calendar. So enable this to happen, when they need to know, so that they can plan their invaluable time away from the business and refresh.
4. Being Heard
Your people need you to listen to them and hear them – really hear what they are saying and respond with action and/or acknowledgement. Be out there creating good, open relationships with your people and take in what they say – what’s important to them – and deliver solutions to make conditions great.
5. Achievable Goals
By being really, really clear about what you expect from your employees, you will set the scene for committed staff. Through knowing exactly what their performance should look like to be judged excellent, by you, gets buy-in, big-time. So be clear, give them the resources to achieve success and they will be well onside.
6. Being Thanked
As they do a good job for you each day – tell them. It’s easy – just say ‘Thank You’! Appreciation for achieving success, especially when it’s from the boss is so important. So recognising excellent performance, even for small tasks, cost nothing and takes but a moment – worth building into your day job activities – every day!
People like to do new things, to explore, to seek out and utilise their potential, Sometimes this means they will have to be ‘stretched’ in what they do. With a helping hand, to support, coach and grow the skills of your people, you are setting in place a keen, ambitious and ready-for-the-next-experience star in the making. So find new ways to develop them.
In today’s business climate, it isn’t always easy to build the best future consistently – things change too much, too quickly. But you can go some way to ensure that it is a safe place to be. With this level of security, your people will loosen up and feel capable of being with you, rather than against. It is a measure of your own leadership as to how well this works.
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. - Jim Ryun
In my experience, there is only one motivation, and that is desire. No reasons or principle contain it or stand against it. - Jane Smiley
Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey
Motivation comes from within. - Author Unknown
Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes. - Kenneth Hildebrand
People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents. - Andrew Carnegie
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice. - Wayne Dyer
Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything. - Napoleon Hill
People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. - Norman Vincent Peale
You have a very powerful mind that can make anything happen as long as you keep yourself centered.
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
SMART Goal Setting!!!
Goal set should be S.M.A.R.T
Specific - A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six "W" questions: *Who: Who is involved?
* What: What do I want to accomplish?
* Where: Identify a location.
* When: Establish a time frame.
* Which: Identify requirements and constraints.
* Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, "Get in shape." But a specific goal would say, "Join a health club and workout 3 days a week."
Measurable - Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.
To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as...... How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished?
Attainable - When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.
Realistic - To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labor of love.
Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.
Timely - A goal should be grounded within a time frame. With no time frame tied to it there's no sense of urgency. If you want to lose 10 lbs, when do you want to lose it by? "Someday" won't work. But if you anchor it within a timeframe, "by May 1st", then you've set your unconscious mind into motion to begin working on the goal.
T can also stand for Tangible - A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight or hearing. When your goal is tangible you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable.
Everyone will benefit from goals and objectives if they are SMART.
SMART, is the instrument to apply in setting goals and attributes.
A must read for all Professionals..... Please read it even though its long....
It would be really worthy....
‘You have done a brilliant work Rajesh. You have been given….rrrrhhhhh……Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh………… Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh .’- what!! I woke up from a sudden jerk. ‘Raaajeeessshhh… .’…I heard my wife yelling. What’s w/ her? Always yelling for something or the other. I can’t be in peace even in my dreams. Shucks!! Angrily, I kicked my blanket and got down. ‘Raaajesssh….’ ‘Coming Meera..what’s w/ you. Why are you shouting like this..’.
I hurried down the stairs. I saw Meera, my sweet(??!!) wife, sitting in the couch giving breakfast to my 7yr old daughter Achala. Both looked happy, watching TV. I got confused at the whole scenario. I came running down, expecting some kind of earthquake, but instead here everything was in place. I looked at my wife & daughter. She smiled at me back. Now, I more got confused, what’s happening here? Am I in a dream?
‘You called me. In fact yelled.’
‘Yes. You are right!’
‘Everything is fine here right? Why you screamed like that then…’
‘It’s ‘cos it’s going to be 8am now.’
I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. Is she playing some kind of prank? Is this the time for all these? I have to be in office by 9am for a meeting.
‘Yes. It’s going to be 8am.Right! So…?’
‘Rajesh, don’t tell me, you forgot…today is 27th ‘
‘Don’t tell me you don’t remember?’
Meera gave me an ‘I’ll kill you’ look. Is it her birthday? No it’s somewhere at the year end. Is it my daughter’s? No no , we celebrated last month only right. Got it. Should be our Anniversary.
‘Hey Meera, How will I forget our Anniversary…’
‘Whaattttttt? ???….Anniversaryy yyy???…..’
Got it. It’s not our anniversary. Before I get killed…What’s w/ 27th. What ?? what?? Come on Rajesh!! Think. Nothing hit my mind. I looked at my daughter for a clue. She turned her face away.
What’s with all women? Why can’t they be straight forward & say things. With so much work pressure, how on earth I am supposed to remember all the dates?. If I say something, then Meera will pick up a fight, and I will miss the meeting, my whole day will be gone. I made up my mind to surrender.
‘Meera, Sorry, I don’t remember. This medicine I am taking for cough, Something happened..my memory is deteriorating ..What’s today?’ Meera doesn’t seem like buying that excuse from me.
‘Meera, please tell me’ I asked in a pitiable tone..
‘Rajesh..You don’t remember at all?’ I moved my head left & right meaning NO. I kept my face like I am a patient suffering from ‘amnesia'.
'Rajesh, As part of annual day celebrations, today is 'Daddy's Day' in Acchu's school. I have been telling you for the past 3 weeks. Now don’t tell me you forgot. You already promised that you will go with her to her school'
I couldn’t believe that I accepted for something like that. 'Meeraa..did I??'
'Yes. You did'
‘at what time it starts..?'
'By 8:30am and ends at 1pm'.
Gosh!! 9am!! I have such a critical meeting. How I will attend all these.
“Meera, you could have reminded me yesterday right?’
‘Oh I didn’t remind you? Great. I didn’t call to your office. Or remind you in the evening and before going to bed’
Might be I wouldn’t have heard it. Or slipped out of my memory. Whatever!!
'Meera! Can’t you attend all these. Why should I??'
"Rajesh. It’s Daddy's Day!...DADDY'ss!!!!!'
'Oh yeah....but. ..'
'errrh....might be some other day...'
'What? You want the school to postpone the function?'
'No..No…actually. .what..I am saying is..'
'What Rajesh??? What?? Tell me. You promised Acchu and are you going to disappoint her? '
I stood there totally helpless. I looked at my daughter. She was all dressed up and ready to go. She looked like, she will cry any time. I saw Meera. She gave me a murderous look. I thought for a moment and my mind raced with many calculations. Important meeting. I can’t miss for sure. Half a day is too much. So many deliverables will get affected. I can’t face Meera again if I don’t go. Might be I can postpone the meeting by an hour and for name sake visit that function and escape to office.
'Meera, I will go, but I can spend only 1 hour..'
Before Meera finished the sentence, Acchu rushed to me 'Thanks daddy. 1hour. Mom, 1hour is enough mom. Please don’t fight mom. Daddy, get ready soon..' she nudged me.
‘Do you know her school name and the route for the school or you want me to tell???’ Asking that Meera threw me an angry look and left the living room. I rushed up, got ready. Called my manager & told that I got stuck in traffic jam and postponed the meeting to 10am.
I took Achala to her school. I felt somehow entering the school, ‘cos it’s the 2nd time, I am entering her school. In fact 1st time. I once dropped her outside her school gate. The school had a big playground, Small Park with all kids playing equipments. Some stalls were put up. So many kids with their fathers moved around here & there. Suddenly I felt some one touching my hand
‘Are you achala’s daddy?’ – A small kid asked. She had curly hair and bubbly smile.
‘Yes,,,My Daddy..…’ – Achala responded in an excited tone.
And some kids ran towards me and Achala started introducing everyone.
‘Daddy! this is Rohit, this is zakir, Anis, Sylvia, Divya..’ – I told hello to everyone.
‘Daddy, Daddy, Zakir is my best friend.’ – I smiled at that cute blue eyed boy.
‘Uncle, Acchu told that you have so much work and you won’t be able to come. She told she won’t come in today. You don’t have work Uncle?’ – Zakir asked me.
I suddenly felt very bad on how my daughter has understood me. ‘No Zakir, I don’t have work’
‘Daddy, they are calling for the games. ‘ . Zakir ran to his father and waved his hands at me & achala. I took achala by hand and walked towards the stage. They were announcing the 1st game. Fathers will be given a sheet containing questions about their kids. Fathers have to fill about their kids which will be verified with the kids response.
Achala was all excited about the game and she was all set to go. But I felt shivers. I looked at my daughter. Suddenly, I felt very far from her, and the reality hit me, that I don’t know anything about my very own daughter. I blurted out ‘Acchu..we will attend the next game..This one ..’ She gave me a deep stare. I thought she is going to cry or shout or do something. But instead she pulled out a small paper from her jeans pocket and gave it to me. Completely baffled, I opened the sheet.
My name is Achala. My birthday March 21st. I am 7yrs old. I like butterfly. Superman. Dairy milk. painting. dancing. I am in 1st standard A section. I like Dora. Mango. Apple. Fried rice. Jelly. I don’t like banana. I drink boost.. I like yellow color. My nick name is ‘Honey dew’
And the list went on with small, small spelling mistakes. I looked at Acchu. ‘Daddy, read it, I know they will keep this game. So I wrote it 2 days back itself, to give you if you come. If they ask anything about me, write there. Ok Now go & attend the game’. Most of the things, my daughter has written & gave me, I never knew anything about it. I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. I went to the stage waved my hand to Acchu and got the question sheet.
Since Acchu gave the sheet, I came to know about her & I answered almost all the questions. Then they asked Acchu on stage and asked the questions to her. We got the 2nd highest mark in that game. Acchu came running towards me and hugged me. They gave a ‘toy guitar’. Everyone congratulated us. Thou’ I won that game, I felt like a loser. I know, I don’t deserve this. I don’t know anything about my daughter.
She looked very happy showing that guitar to her best friend, zakir. What a kid she is. Understanding that her dad is totally hopeless and don’t want to let her dad down, before others she prepared that sheet and gave to me. The lump in my throat started getting bigger and my heart became heavy. I caressed her hair. What a beautiful smile she has and such big eyes.
Does she miss a wing to get qualified as an angel? I have never admired my daughter or even watched her in all these years. She has that cute dimple of Meera’s as well as her eyes. Does that curling lip edges when she smiles, is mine? How I missed all this in my life.
Achala pulled me to the stalls there and I got some eatables and ballons for her and zakir.. She kept talking about the next game and suddenly my mobile rang. Oops!! Is it already 10am. I looked at Acchu . Suddenly her face became dark. She looked totally upset and asked in an low voice ‘Daddy! You have to leave now?’
I looked at my mobile. My manager was calling. It’s already 10am. I looked at Acchu. I looked around. All those happy kids with their fathers. I thought about my school days, where my dad used to come for all sports day, annual day, sit with me, cheer me up. Every day morning, while dropping me to school, he will wait near the gate until my head disappear. Evening, he will come & pick me up in his cycle, and I will be telling him all the stories that happened that day in school.
I saw Acchu. How many untold stories my daughter has kept in her heart to say me? I thought about all those days, where I yearned for a girl child and I wonder, how much of my time I gave her.
I pulled her closer, gave a kiss on her fore head ‘No Honey! I am not going. I will be here only…we will attend all games and roam around whole day.ok?’
‘Really?’ – She asked in an unbelievable tone.
‘Thank you Daddy!’ – Achala kissed my cheeks and ran to her friends. School teaches you something or the other always. This time, ‘back to school’ has taught me a wonderful life’s lesson. I called my manager & told that am running high fever and can’t come in today.
I know, I can handle things tomorrow. Today my daughter needs me more than anyone can need me in this world. With a lighter heart, I got up; ran towards Acchu, lifted her and gave her a big swing. She erupted into an uncontrollable laughter. The lump in my throat started melting away.
Life is often misinterpreted…
We work to live and not live to work…
Search the real meaning of Life…
We always face situations where boss says to complete the works in no time.... take extra resources if you want..... Maybe this reply can help in those situations....It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied " Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything ." The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"
**Story of Appreciation**
One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".
The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'
The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."
The youth said,
Number 1: I know now what appreciation is. Without my Mother, there would not the successful me today.
Number 2: By working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.
Number 3: I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.
The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager.
I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team.
The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.
A good one from my email.. Try to share this story to as many as possible... this may change somebody's fate...